Who Are We?
Eric Blair spent his youth traveling the globe with his Marine Colonel father and archaeologist mother. He spent the first five years of his teens in a Dream Walk, during which he was visited by Abe Lincoln, Winston Churchill, and Fred Savage. Upon waking, the connection between popular culture, political upheaval, and the kiss of a pure-hearted woman was clear to him. In hopes of learning more, Eric matriculated to University where he studied under Professor Johann Hölzel. He continues to travel the world, seeking the Truth.
His favorite color is blue.
Prof. Johann Hölzel has been seeking the truth since 1954 (much longer than Eric). He left his native Austria in 1972 to attend the (then) prestigious Harvard University. He was summarily kicked out during his 4th term when he vocally decried the television series, Charlie’s Angels, for it’s trivializing of the secret terrorist organization, The Lullaby 4.
For years he went underground, frantically researching his cause in a haze of French cigarettes and bathtub absinthe. He did not emerge from his fog until he stumbled across an article that appeared in a Norwegian newspaper by the (soon-to-be-exiled) Dr. Stig Hansen regarding the Orwellian appeal of Max Headroom and the implications it could have on the world stage lest Coca-Cola (a major world power) be sanctioned by the United Nations. Hölzel made it his goal to seek out Dr. Hansen to discuss his own burgeoning ideas on what has now become the UBERMUSTER (grand pattern). His quest was cut short when Hansen was mysteriously gunned down outside a drifter’s hotel in Venezuela.
Fearing for his own life due to his countless emissaries to the doctor, Hölzel retreated to a small east coast college, where he quickly rose in the ranks of academia, due to his tireless will and acute sense of logic and reason.
Now tenured, he continues to teach at [name removed] where he came across the other contributors to the small beacon of hope that is illumarazzi.com. He is married and has two cats.
Stu Boeuf
What is your favorite word?
PARTY!!!!
What is your least favorite word?
Clinic.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
In order: Project: Runway, Madonna, and guys with jobs.
What turns you off?
Fatties.
What is your favorite curse word?
Republican.
What sound or noise do you love?
Scissor Sisters “I Don’t Feel Like Dancing”
What sound or noise do you hate?
Alarms.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Duh. Fashion.
What profession would you not like to do?
Like rake yards and stuff.
If Heaven exists, what would like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
YOU LOOK FABULOUS!!!!!!
